Funny craigslist dating ads

I asked two or three for more details and had a nice exchange with one of them.

Finally, I was ready to try pushing the envelope a bit. "You know, Connie, it's been a long time since we've had a date night." 'Date night', like 'quality time' is one of our code words.

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On those nights when you let me shave you and lick you and you let me invite my big friend to come over for a visit." My 'big friend' is a sizable lifelike rubber dildo that I had slowly introduced into our sex play a few years earlier.

I attached a revealing and flattering picture of my shapely bride that showed her full breasts and the curve of her hips, but not her face.

Maybe this time I'll buy you a few extra drinks." "Oh yeah? " "Let's just say I'm having especially strong feelings about you these days and hoping this will be a very special night." "Oh, shit. At first glance, there was nothing all that special about it, but something about it caught my imagination. Looking in the mirror, Connie said "I can't wear this! It nicely displays your beautiful décolletage, and if you weren't wearing underwear, it wouldn't show." "In your dreams, mister." I inched closer behind her.

It looked something like a simple sun dress with a little elastic around the waist and along the scooped neck. "I would love to have my friend see you in that." "Oh, you mean out little friend back home? Just hearing her mention our dildo made me weak in the knees. I'd love to dress you up in this and open you up and watch our big friend slide in and out of you." "Oooo. "Maybe I made a new friend recently who would like to meet you. " "You're full of shit and having one of your crazy fantasies again. I need a drink." She was looking at me out of the corner of her eye as we walked to the register to pay for our purchase, probably trying to figure out if I was just kidding or if I really was up to something.

I didn't say what, exactly, I wanted such a man for, but a crazy plan was coalescing in my brain.

I wasn't prepared for the deluge of responses I would get.

A date night usually involved going out for a nice dinner, including a few extra drinks for Connie and then me trying to get her to do sexy things like taking off her bra in the ladies room or spreading her legs a little for a guy across the room and then taking her home for hot sex, often including a workout with the well-lubed dildo and maybe even a simultaneous finger in her back door before I fucked her as long and hard as I could. "This place is for young, skinny, sexy girls." "Come on. "You're young at heart and certainly sexy, and I love your mature form more than any skinny kid's." We went in, looked around and declined the offer of help from the anorexic-looking sales girl.

If Connie agreed to go out for date night, I knew she was in a good mood and was up for some serious fun. "That's funny," she replied, "I've been thinking the same thing." "You don't say! " "Oh, you know, the usual, a nice dinner, a few drinks, and then a little quality time back home." "Is that all you've been thinking? " "I used to, but these days I'm not so sure." "You know I love you and would never do anything to hurt you. " We happen to live near one of the big football stadiums and there's a a big dining and shopping area next to it and one of our favorite restaurants is there. We commented and joked about the skimpy lingerie with me telling her how much my friends would love to see her modeling that. "I think this would look good on you, and, it's on sale! You'll look really sexy in this." "Don't you mean 'slutty'? It'll only take a minute, and besides, this is date night, remember?

I was excited because I finally had a chance to hint to my beautiful Connie that I was overwhelmed by fantasies of seeing her fucked by another man, but nervous because I didn't know how she would react to this revelation. I just keep having visions of how you would react to a real live, big, hard cock thrusting repeatedly into you." "Oh, my..." was all she could muster, her voice a little raspy as her breathing deepened. Then, turning serious, "You aren't really thinking about doing this are you?

Some guys like the idea of their wives having sex with other men." At this point I was getting very excited -- and nervous. When I see you open yourself to my attentions and see how you respond so strongly I can't help myself. "Well, I would hope you would behave badly," I quipped. " she squealed as she playfully punched me in the arm.

There sure are a lot of horny men out there who would gladly fuck another man's wife.

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