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This is not to say that FMF triads are impossible—some FMF triads are highly successful loving relationships with full personhood for all.In these cases, the “added” woman often transitions from the unicorn to become a “real” (socially acknowledged) partner who has a say in what happens in the relationship as well.I want you to know that I intend no biphobia and do not think that all bisexuals are polyamorous, or that poly people are slutty (some are and embrace the identity, some are not).

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There are few exclusively same-sex relationships among poly men, primarily because, as a friend once told me “Gay men invented open relationships, we don’t need another label to do what we are already doing.” Lesbians also have non-monogamous norms and groups already within their own communities, and may be reluctant to join poly gatherings because of the likelihood that they will encounter unwanted male attention.

For these and other reasons, mainstream poly communities in the United States often emphasize women's bisexuality and downplay men's bisexuality.

These free-floating bisexual women waiting to be snagged into an existing relationship are rare enough to be called “unicorns” or “hot bi babes,” and the couples that seek her are termed “unicorn hunters.” In her most exaggerated form, the unicorn is an attractive single woman in her mid 20s, eager to move to the couple’s dilapidated farm in rural North Dakota to care for their children (but not get pregnant herself), work in the fields, clean their house, be their sex toy, remain silent when it comes to the couples’ relationships, and disappear whenever it would be inconvenient to explain her presence to the couples’ family or friends.

Many couples who approach poly communities seeking the unicorn are disappointed by the glaring absence of women lining up to be vetted for inclusion in their relationship.

The connection between poly and bisexuality was not originally my idea -- my respondents said it and other academicians like Meg Barker and Ani Ritchie have also found the same thing.

For a more detailed discussion of this with all sorts of evidence to back it up, please see my article "Poluyamorous Women, Sexual Subjectivity, and Power" in the Journal of Contemporary Ethnography, Volume 34, Issue 3, pages 251-283.

There is a strong link between polyamory and bisexuality.

Some people see a “natural” affiliation between the two because having multiple partners allows bisexuals access to both female and male lovers, satisfying their bisexual desires.

It is also under that same publications tab on my website.

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