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In any healthy relationship, and especially within marriage, that is reason enough to open the door to this important conversation.

There are several principles and strategies you can adopt to have this talk and make it more effective.

Are there other behaviors correlated with porn addiction like lying, gaslighting, or other unhealthy ways of interacting, including narcissistic traits?

If you’re left feeling lost and confused or not knowing how to proceed, know that help is available.

If you feel your husband is unable or unwilling to stop his compulsive porn viewing, there is something you can do.

But first, let me say that his viewing habits are not because of you. I have had to have this conversation myself, so let me help you prepare to do the same.

And if you have suffered any (or a lot) of pain as a result of his use of pornography, I want you to know how sorry I am you are going through this. If you intend to confront your husband regarding his use of porn, first spend some quiet time alone thinking and journaling.

If, at the end of your conversation, you feel you’ve not been heard, or you were thrown “off course” and are left confused and frustrated or if you didn’t keep your cool; don’t beat yourself up.

This can be a tough conversation, and there’s always another chance to talk again, to clarify, add on, or any other thing you may wish you’d done better.Now that you know how you feel about pornography, its potential impacts on you, your family, society, etc., prepare yourself to speak with your partner about your feelings regarding these things. Don’t assume that your husband won’t hear your concerns. If he becomes angry or defensive, stop the conversation and again, consider talking with a trained Betrayal Trauma coach to get help understanding your situation.This will enable you to address the situation in a nonjudgmental fashion, and increase the likelihood that he will hear your heart on the matter. ” If you find that these questions cause you to feel trauma, or that the answers are causing you to feel trauma, stop the conversation, and get insight from a coach trained by the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS) to help you navigate how to proceed. Strive to reach an agreement regarding what’s acceptable and what’s not.Consider what type of behaviors you need from your husband to help you feel safe and cared for.Boundaries are to help you establish emotional and physical safety.Write these down, so that you can be prepared to discuss them with your partner.

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