Why dating is not good richtungsvektor berechnen online dating

You will try to split it, but he will pay, and you will stand to re-wrap yourself against the frigid wind.You will part ways, and you will probably, almost certainly, begin again the next day with another “Hey there…” message from the next contender.

She will offer to split, but you think she doesn’t mean it and you don’t want to be a jerk.

You will march home to an empty inbox and the desire to spend another hour browsing and writing will start to fade.*****You might think online dating would create some much-needed “fairness” between the sexes.

I write about gender on the Internet for crying out loud!

But every day, when I log into the dating site of my choice, I play the passive role, the receiver of attention, the awaiter of messages.

I tell all my single girlfriends to give online dating a try. Your inbox will fill with notes from 19-year-olds in the ‘burbs, 40-somethings who find your taste in music “refreshing,” addled idiots writing “id fck u,” and a handful of age-appropriate, nice-looking guys who can string some sentences together and like to cook.

You set up a profile, pick some cute photos, write something witty about the things that you love (Beyonce, Hillary Clinton, Battlestar Galactica), list some books you like, and then sit back, kick your feet up, and wait for the messages to roll in.

After all, we each have only the 500-word text boxes and crappy jpegs and clever (not so clever) user names to show for ourselves. Maybe in this environment where we are safely sequestered behind screens, we can get past some of the lingering gender-based “rules” that dominate the “How to Catch a Man” playbooks of yore.

Maybe instead we can learn to treat each other as equal players of a very silly game that we all secretly take quite seriously. But it seems quite clear to me that we’re not there yet. I’m a feminist, sex-positive 21st century lady whose photos include me posing in a Rosie the Riveter Halloween costume.

I do not want my dating choices to be limited to the guys who are still optimistic enough to send a message; I might miss some good ones who are just tired of being ignored and I can’t blame them. I asked above why I should bother to get on the rollercoaster ride of being the asker instead of the askee, and I think the reason it’s worth trying is the reason it’s worth trying many things that make you uncomfortable; empathy.

Tags: , ,